What to do during unforeseen verbal conflicts


Online Video Chats / Sunday, July 12th, 2020

We meet with rudeness everywhere: at school, at work, in a shop, on public transport, on social networks … As a rule, most people react to rudeness with rudeness. Or someone gets upset silently and worries for a long, long time. But psychologists are sure that none of the options to get out of such an unpleasant situation will not be right. And experts on etiquette will repeat them, saying: calmness and dignity should be preserved in any case. You’re a lady!

Let’s figure out the best way to get out of this situation if you’re pushy.

Agree with your opponent

Unexpected, isn’t it? You’d think you’d agree with someone who deliberately injected you. However, if you can overcome your rage and anger and simply do not object to the hama, but pretend that you do not deny his judgments, it will discourage him! It is impossible to attack a man who does not succumb to provocation and responds with kindness.

For example, some abusive individuals tell you “You’re stupid, you’re stupid.”

You could say, “Maybe sometimes I’m really being unreasonable.”

That’s another example:

The interlocutor underestimates your knowledge/experience: “You don’t know the subject at all, what to say about it”.

Keep cool, try to smile a little and say, “Indeed, the more I study this topic, the more I realize that I know little about it. And the more I want to understand it! Here you seem to understand a lot about it, tell me.”

A request and a little positive evaluation should make the person you are talking to soften up. Perhaps he will start talking about himself (his knowledge in this field) and even remain grateful to you – subconsciously all people want attention, and you, without pulling the blanket on yourself and throwing firewood in the flames of possible quarrel, just give your opponent a moment of triumph.

Even more discouraging than consent is reaction-compliment.

For example, you’re told, “Blue doesn’t suit you, why did you choose this dress?”

You can answer with a note of irony: “Perhaps it’s not my best color. However, your blouse really suits you. Are you going to a stylist or do you have innate good taste?”

The conclusion is: consent or an unexpected compliment can silence a person and feel guilty. The main thing is not to bend the stick and do not start sucking up to the offender. Do not confuse courtesy and self-control with the loss of self-esteem.

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